Growing Up is Hard to Do

Nothing prepares you for growing up. It just kind of happens without you even realizing it or without you expecting it. It creeps up on you, slowly at first and then quicker each day. As a child, I remember daydreaming about what I would be like when I reached college age. I thought about what I would look like, what clothes I would be wearing, what my personality would be like, and so on. And now that I am at this stage, I think further into my future. What will I be like in ten years? Will I have my dream job? Where will I be living? What's funny is that concurrently, I am wishing that I was a little kid again. It must be funny to read that someone actually wishes they could go back to a time when they didn't have much freedom and had to obey everything their parents said. But I don't think of it that way. I see it like this: Remember how much fun you had as a kid? How summer vacation seemed endless? How school was simple and you didn't have to think about the future? I believe that, as children, we all did exactly what we strive to do now as adults: live in the moment. We didn't worry about paying for school, we didn't have to think about what we looked like or how we acted. We were who we were and that was that. It was that simple. And that is exactly what I miss: simplicity. Now, all I think about is if the college I chose is the right one for me and for my future, if it will help me get the job I want, if I did all of my work correctly and on time, if I should find a job to start saving money for bills after I graduate, and the list goes on and on. It seems like as soon as I graduated high school, the 'adult mode' switch flicked on in my brain that triggered all of this worrying and thinking about the future. And it seems like the only time I can turn this switch off is when I'm home, when I don't have to be an adult anymore and my family is there to "take care of me." I guess among the many things I have learned from the transition into college, one of the biggest things I've learned is that growing up is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. A lot of people think that college just gives you another four more years to be irresponsible and worry-free. But for people like me, responsibility and planning for my future began on day one. And it hasn't stopped since. I am sure, dear readers, that you probably think I'm being overdramatic. But I assure you, college is a different world. It's one step closer to the real world. It's preparation for full-time adulthood. It's a wake-up call. And quite honestly, it's a little bit scary! I've never even come close to dealing with anything like this before, and it scares me. Why does it scare me? Probably because for the first time, I'm aware that I'm growing up, and I'm getting closer to true adulthood. It's a hard idea to grasp, but a necessary one at that. Has anyone else ever felt like this, or am I just crazy? If you have felt like this before or just have advice on dealing with this, leave me a comment below. Also, feel free to follow me on all social media platforms, as well as Bloglovin' and by entering your email address in the box at the top-right corner of this page. And as always, thanks for reading! -That Reflecting University Girl