That In-Between Girl

It has been just over two months since I graduated from college. That beautiful Sunday in May will forever live in my mind as one of the proudest and most surreal moments of my life, unfolding before me as if in slow motion. I remember getting up [very] early, getting dressed, taking photos with my roommates, and all of us scurrying out the door of our apartment for the last time as undergraduates. I can still envision the long walk up to the commencement site; flanked by tall trees that have seen many graduates off into their futures, I recalled the first time I ever trekked that path. It was the day of my freshman-year orientation. I was nervous, shy and overwhelmed by the heat of that 90+ degree day, the exhaustion of walking around the hilly campus, and the sheer newness of it all.

And then there I was, walking that same path four years later, donning a graduation cap and gown with four honor cords around my neck to mark the culmination of my academic efforts. As I thought about my time there, we continued to process toward our final destination; I saw professors who turned into mentors and friends, hugging me and cheering me on as I was walking toward the edge of the proverbial nest, ready to jump and test my wings. "Pomp and Circumstance" began, my fellow graduates and I continued onward, past family and friends and toward our final destination: the stage we'd have to cross to get that all-important piece of paper. It was finally my turn; I crossed the stage, shook hands, reached for my diploma, and walked back to my seat. Just like that, my undergraduate career was over.

This moment feels like it was both yesterday and ages ago — a dream. An ephemeral moment that only happened in my imagination. Yet, I know intellectually that it's all over. There are some people I will likely never see again, while there are others that I already miss more than my heart can take. In many ways, I also miss who I was then; I miss feeling necessary, as if every day I was on a mission that was my job to complete. I miss waking up in the morning and knowing that my day was going to be full of twists, turns, challenges, and triumphs — how funny it is that I now long for the very thing that I would sometimes complain about!

I presume this desire for a purpose is in full bloom now because I do not yet have a job, one of the most difficult things I currently face. Day after day, I apply to countless positions, and day after day, I get no response, leaving me stranded in the vast expanse of an unknown future. It forces me to acknowledge that I am no longer "That University Girl," but instead "That In-Between Girl," stuck in the not-quite, the not-yet, the might-be.

It's difficult for someone like me — someone who thrives on definites, 100-percents, concretes — to accept being in a place that is indefinite, murky, and unsettled. Part of me tries to maintain hope, to stay positive as I await my next adventure; but the more I am greeted by inaction, I grow increasingly anxious that being in this in-between state will become permanent. That the promise that I graduated with will dissipate, and the rest of my life will never get started. That I will always just be hoping for something that will never come.

In many ways, I am reminded of the play by Samuel Beckett, "Waiting for Godot." In "Godot," the two main characters perpetually await the arrival of Godot, who ultimately never makes an appearance. What if I am Vladimir or Estragron, the duo who anticipate Godot's arrival, and the career and the life I so crave — my Godot — never show up? What if I am left wondering what could have happened, what could have been for the rest of my life?

Maybe I am just being dramatic. Maybe one day, I will read this post again, laugh, and go back to my wonderful job and my wonderful life. Maybe everything I could every want is right around the corner. Maybe my story won't be like Beckett's fictional tale. Maybe my Godot will actually show up.

I hope so — and soon.

XO,

That In-Between/University/Job-hunting Girl

Top Five College Necessities

Hello 2014! Now that I had some time to reflect on 2013, I realized that there are certain things that were a big help in my first semester of college. So if you are thinking that you should start buying things to put away for next fall when you start college, here is a good list of basics to have. I present to you, my dear readers, my top five college necessities: 1. A Good Bedding Set: I know this is a no-brainer, but you would be amazed at how many people spend a lot of money for just sheets and a comforter. I bought my bedding at Bed, Bath and Beyond for only $99. Yes, $99 is not pocket change, but I got so much with my set. I got a comforter, sheets, a pillowcase, a decorative sham, a foam mattress topper, a pillow, two towels, and the whole set came in a storage organizer. Everything is good quality, and the set overall was definitely worth the money. 2. Rain Boots: Whether you are a girl or a guy, you need a shoe that is going to be weather-resistant. If you are looking for high quality, yet affordable rain boots (or weather-proof boots), my favorite site is 6pm.com. They offer a wide variety of brands and sizes for percentages off MSRP prices. This is a great place to update your wardrobe for college! 3. An Ethernet Cable: Some people will read this and say "What is an ethernet cord???" But this is one of the most important things to bring! Campus wireless internet is notoriously not-so great, so it important that while you are in your dorm room, you have a stable connection to the internet. I promise- it will be so worth it bring this with you! 4. A Locking Storage Container: Another no-brainer, but definitely a necessity! I have one of these in my room to keep all of my important things that are worth being under lock and key. Unfortunately, you can't trust everyone, so it's a good idea to have something that locks to keep all of your personal items safe! 5. Fans: This is one of the most important items on this list. Dorm rooms can get incredibly hot and stuffy, and there is rarely air conditioning in freshmen dorms. Bring a box/window fan with you to help bring in air from the outside. It is helpful to have more than one fan so that you can "air out" all corners of the room- I highly recommend a desk fan or two to help with the heat in your future dorm! I hope you've enjoyed my top five list! If you have any other suggestions, good ideas, or questions, leave me a comment! And don't forget to follow me on twitter @universitygirl5 and right here on my blog by entering your email address in the box on the top right corner of my page! Thanks for reading! -That Helpful University Girl =)

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year, readers! First, I want to thank you for following me on my college journey thus far. It has been a lot of fun for me to share my thoughts with you and somewhat therapeutic for me, as well. On those days when I was aggravated because people were singing at 1 am and prevented me from sleeping, it is nice to know that I have a platform to vent my feelings while also (hopefully!) bringing some humor to your day! I also wanted to give a little note to all those high school seniors out there that may be reading this: we are on the eve of your graduation year! Congrats- you made it through high school!! These next few months leading up to your graduation will go by so fast, you won't even know what is happening! You will have decisions to make, things to prepare for, schoolwork to do, and final memories to make. Although it will be a whirlwind, try to enjoy it as much as possible. Try to enjoy even those people that you kind of can't stand in your class- this may be the last time you ever spend with them, so make it count. Let go of any stupid grudges you may be holding on to, because all it is going to do is keep you from having a good time. More than anything, take each thing day by day and live in the moment. Don't be so worried about making your college decision that you miss what is right in front of you. I wish all of you, dear readers, a wonderful 2014 full of love, happiness, and new, exciting experiences! Talk to you in 2014! -That University Girl <3

What's Your Top Choice???

This time last year, I was in the process of deciding just what college I would going to be attending in Fall 2013. There were so many different factors that I was considering, like the amount of scholarship I was given, how far away the school was from home, if it was in a safe area, and so on. If you are a high school senior going through this decision-making process right now, I completely understand your feelings at this point in the process. And I can promise you that one day, the decision will become clear. But until that day, I also understand how frustrating it can be. During the holiday season, you are gathering with relatives and family friends and they are constantly asking you, "What school are you going to?" or "What's your top choice school?" Now, if you are anything like me, these incessant questions will drive you crazy and you will give absolutely no one a straight answer. And if you are really like me, you couldn't give a straight answer because, quite frankly, you didn't have a top choice and felt like that was "abnormal" because everyone and their mother had a top choice college that they were hoping to get accepted to. So here is my message to you: it is TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE AND NORMAL to not have a top choice school! I know it makes the decision-making process a little bit harder because all of the schools are on a level playing field, but that doesn't mean that making a decision is impossible. Try to focus on the pros and cons of each school, and make lists for each one. Then, try to consider what you are looking for in a school: do you want to go to a small or big school? City or country? Does it have your desired major? Once you do this, compare the lists of pros and cons for each school to your wish-list and this should help to at least eliminate some of the schools that don't have most of the qualifications on your list. Of course, this is not a surefire way to pick the school of your dreams, but it can help move you in the right direction. And most importantly, don't stress about this decision. Yes, it is very important to choose a school that will prepare you for the job of your dreams. But try not to make it so stressful and so overbearing of a decision that it occupies your thoughts 24/7. Try to keep a clear, open mind and the decision may make itself. And one more thing: try not to get caught up in what your friends or classmates are doing, or if they made their decisions yet, etc. My high school made the college decision-making process a big deal, and everyone had this "college fever" thing where they had to announce their stresses, their successes, and even their failures. I know it's hard to do, but try not to pay attention to what everyone else is doing. This is your process, your journey. Take it one day at a time, and one day you will proudly be able to say "In the fall, I will be attending [insert university here]" and you will feel a peace about your decision. Until then, take it easy and don't stress; your decision will be made soon, I promise. -That Reminiscent University Girl

Si Se Puede!

I've returned my books, I've taken my last test, and now all I have to do is turn a few more things in and then I can go home! I had a final on Saturday, which was pretty good, and then I had my last test this morning. That one was okay, I guess. I'm just happy that I am done studying for tests; after studying for literally 6 hours straight yesterday, my mind is totally fried. My nerves are absolutely shot; I could not even fall asleep last night even though I was clearly tired- that's how much finals got to me! But, for all of this aggravation, I can now sit down and do.... wait for it.... NOTHING! No more papers to write, projects to complete, tests to study for, or things to stress about! My first semester of college is completely over! I really cannot wrap my mind around it- to think that I have nothing to do and I am already finished with my first semester is crazy! I thought this semester would never end!! And here it is: done, completed, terminado, finito. What got me through it? 1. My mom and my family (if you haven't noticed, they really do mean everything to me) 2. Texting my best friend (I don't know why I call her my best friend; she is basically my sister) 3. My roommate- it's weird because I never thought that a stranger would help me get through my first semester of college, but that's exactly what happened. She invited me to dinner and brought me out of shyness to talk to other people; and I am grateful for that. What have I learned from this semester? I'm pretty sure you don't want to read about standard deviations or the French Revolution, so I will spare you that. But what I really learned from my first semester is this: 1. It's okay to hate college in your first few weeks (or months)- not everything is going to be perfect right away. It takes time for everything to fall into place. 2. Si Se Puede- yes, this means "yes we can" in Spanish. I put this in here because I learned that even when something is insanely difficult, it is up to myself to figure out how to rise above it and do the absolute best I can. And doing this requires a lot of work and a lot of determination. What kept me going was saying "yes I can accomplish what I set out to accomplish." So, I just want to say thanks for sticking with me throughout my first semester- it's been a joy to share my thoughts will you! Please leave me some comments, follow me here and on twitter (@universitygirl5), and I will write again soon! Love, That Relieved University Girl

The Final Countdown

In less than a week, I will be done with all of my final exams, final projects, and essays! And the best part? I get to go home to my lovely family and spend a month with them with no interruptions and no work! I am so excited to finally end this semester. Don't get me wrong, I am getting the hang of this college thing day by day, and in a weird way I almost enjoy it. But it's been a long semester and I am ready for a nice long break- longer than just a weekend at home with my family! But until that time, I have a lot of stuff to get done, like studying for my finals that start on Saturday... WHAT?? I know- a final exam on a Saturday?!? Don't they know that Saturdays are off limits for students?!? I guess not! I only have two final tests to take, which is not so bad- I had more final tests to take in high school than I do now! I also have to hand in an essay and a project, both of which have been very time-consuming things to do, but are done (thank God!). Well, I guess I should get to studying- the quicker I study, the quicker I will be able to go home! I hope the next time I blog, it will be from my favorite spot of my couch at home =) Catch ya next time- That Waiting University Girl